How Things Should Be
by Whiskey-Chicks-and-Hell
Summary: Hawkeye and Black Widow are sent on a mission to Moscow. When Natasha finds that their target is an old accomplice from the KGB the mission suddenly goes very awry. WARNING: Multiple Character Death. Lemons.


The Way Things Should Be

Clint's hands roamed the worn leather of his partners catsuit. It was warm from hours of contact with the red head's skin. His fingers found the zipper and he tugged at it, pulling it gently down to her belly button and letting it rest there before he tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Her fingertips traced up her archer's toned arms as pressed herself closer to him, her lips molded to his, a small whine escaping her throat.

Just as Natasha's hands found their way down to Clint's belt, a knock was heard at the door of the office. Both assassins quickly jerked away from each other, the voice of Nick Fury could be heard from the other side of the door "Barton, Ramanoff, you have a mission." Natasha struggled trying to zip her cat suit, "Uh, Just a second sir!" she blurted out, as the door knob began to turn. She yanked the zipper up just as the door swung open, revealing the tall dark skinned man.

Clint cleared his throat, mussing his hair to disguise the tufts reaching every which way. A flash of amusement still sparking in the director's eyes as he handed them both their dossiers. "You're going to Moscow. A real nasty arms dealer out there," Fury said. Clint reached for his file unable to concentrate with the painful, very noticeable erection that was straining against his zipper. He shot Natasha a pathetic look.

Natasha giggled at the bulge in her partners pants before turning to Fury, "What do we know about this arms dealer?" she smirked toward Clint as she read through the file, it contained; a map of the city, details on the suspected hideout of the dealer, plane tickets, aliases, and anything else they could need. Fury looked to the both of them and spoke, "He goes by the name of Bare Arms, he's very dangerous and well stocked with weapons. You leave in 3 hours." Fury turned to leave the office, "Be careful agents," Natasha nodded curtly as he left before turning toward the man beside her, "What do ya say Hawk? Shall we go to Moscow?"

"Not like it's a choice," he said, a slight whine evident in his voice. "This should be fun though," he shrugged. "A weapons dealer with a sense of humor. I mean, bare arms, really?" Clint shook his head throwing the file on top of his jacket that was strewn across the small couch in Natasha's office. She laughed, "Got to admit though, the guy's clever." she smiled at him, "Better get packing, meet you at the plane? Or would you like to come help me? I could always use someone to carry my suitcase," she stood and sauntered over toward the door, swaying her hips, "Coming Barton?"

Clint scrambled to grab his things, following her like a lost puppy. "You know I've always got a bag packed in case of a mission," he murmured. "I know," she smiled. "But I don't, I have to bring different things each time. It's not just me and a bow Birdbrain," she giggles and grabbed his hand, pulling him along.

"I take offense to that," he grumbled. "Wasn't meant to be offensive," she turned to him and kissed his cheek, "I'm sorry for insulting you and your bow. All better?" she pulled him into her SHIELD apartment and slipped off toward the closet.

She packed every outfit she could possibly need; something sexy, something comfy, something formal, something casual and so on. When she got to dresses she called to Clint, "Hawk! Do i look better in red or purple?"

"Red," he replied immediately. "I think it has something to do with your hair." Clint tiptoed the threshold of the doorway, not sure whether to enter the bedroom or stay put in the tiny living room. "Although you look killer in either one." Natasha smiled and threw the red dress on the bed to be packed,

"Don't look," she said playfully as she slipped off her cat suit to change, she slipped on jeans and a t-shirt with a jacket she stole from Clint when they first met. "All clear hawk," she whispered, as if he wasn't already looking, she turned and went to throw everything into a suitcase. When she finished that she looked to him, "All done!"

Clint walked over, wrapping his arms around her waist gently. "We still have two hours," he purred in her ear. "That we do," she smirked and pulled his lips to hers, kissing him deeply, humming against his mouth. He pulled her flush against him, tangling his fingers in her hair. She dug her nails into his muscular arms, dragging them to his chest and pulling on his shirt. Clint moaned, pushing her back against the wall.

Natasha bit his lip flirtatiously, "Hmmm...Hawk..." she whispered and pulled his shirt off, running her hands down his chiseled chest. "Tasha," he breathed. His lips worked against hers roughly.

"Yes?" she pulled away slightly to tease him. Natasha dug her nails into his chest, leaving small red crescent marks. He moaned gently, pressing his hips against her begging for friction. She pulled herself up and rubbed her hips against his as she wrapped her legs around him. He gasped, grabbing her thighs tightly.

She moaned and slid her tongue into his mouth, fighting with his for control. Clint's body pressed tighter against hers, almost as if he was trying to meld them both with the wall supporting the fiery haired assassin. Natasha moaned into his mouth. Her personal robin hood held her firmly yet tenderly, every touch was soft and pleasurable.

"I need you Tasha," he gasped. "I need you too..." She whispered, but just as she moved to kiss him again Fury's voice erupted from the answering machine on the nightstand, "ROMANOFF! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! Get Barton and get to the airport. NOW." Natasha groaned and unwrapped her legs from Clint, "Shit." she whispered and grabbed her suitcase, "Shall we?" she pointed to the door.

Clint whimpered pathetically and dropped his head. "We shall," he said reluctantly as he shuffled toward the door. Natasha pulled his face to hers for one last kiss, "Moscow here we come..." she whispered as they got in the car and headed for the airport. Both agents were silent on their way there. Natasha was having feelings for her partner rise again, she did her best to shove them back down, but they kept surfacing. She knew they couldn't be together, unless it was purely physical so why did she still feel this way?

Clint fidgeted the whole way to the airport, stealing a glance at the beautiful woman next to him every so often. He should tell her, he should let her know his feelings. The archer sighed and turned his head to the window just as they were pulling up at the airport. Natasha hopped out of the car as they arrived on the tarmac, she grabbed her suitcase and smiled at Clint as she boarded the SHIELD aircraft. She settled into her seat and pulled out a file, ready to research on their flight there.

Clint plopped down next to her already feeling the fogginess of sleep creeping up on him. He couldn't stand researching on planes. All he ever did was sleep. Natasha smiled at her partner, all of her feelings were on the tip of her tongue, locked behind her teeth. 'Love is for children' she would always say, yet she knew she felt something more than friendship for the man beside her. His face broke into a wide smile and he dropped his head onto Natasha's shoulder. "Wake me when we land," he requested.

She nodded and yawned herself, she nuzzled her way into Clint's arms. She hummed softly, glancing at his sleeping figure every so often. Natasha had read the file 10 times over by the time she began to doze, she set the file in her bag and curled up against his chest, falling asleep quickly.

The plane jerked to a halt rather abruptly upon landing causing Clint to start. "Tasha," he whispered against his partner's hair. "We're here." Natasha mumbled, still asleep against his chest. she just curled closer, not noticing they had landed. He chuckled and gently shook her. "Tasha," he sang. "No!" she whined and grabbed at his shirt. She whimpered quietly and yawned.

"Don't make me carry you off this plane," he threatened. She groggily stood and stretched "We're here?" she grabbed her bag and walked toward the front of the plane "We are. Let's get to the hotel," he said as he slung his bag over his shoulder. She jumped off the plane and walked to the car that was waiting for them, "Coming hawk?" she grinned. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." He made his way to her side. "Makes it harder to get them off," he whispered in her ear.

Natasha blushed almost as red as her hair, "Uhm... uh..." she mumbled and looked out the window. "Did I really manage to fluster the great Black Widow," he said feigning shock. She punched his shoulder, "No! I'm just tired!" she smiled and looked back out the window. "Tired, right." He reached across her, purposefully brushing his hand over her upper thigh and smirking. She bit her lip at his touch, "So! This Bare Arms..."

"What about him?" Clint struggled to suppress his amusement. "Did you even read the file?" she looked at him with her eyebrow raised. He pursed his lips in mock thought. "Well, uhm let me try and remem- no." He shook his head.

Natasha sighed and handed him the file, "Hes a dangerous guy basically. Add guns and we could be in trouble." she looks at him, "When we fight him we can let him have weapons, he'll kill us both."

"How do we plan on stopping him from having weapons? He's a weapons dealer!" Clint said.

"I'll distract him," she looked at him, "Then you'll take him out. He cant hurt me to bad." she smiled weakly, she still desperately wanted to tell Clint how she felt. "As long as you're sure," he said hesitantly. She nodded, "It's not like I have much of a choice in the matter." They arrived at the hotel and were helped to their room, Natasha sat on the bed when they arrived and looked at Clint. "Of course you have a choice, there are plenty of options!" He protested, tossing his bag to the side and carefully placing his bows case on the table.

"Not really," she looks into his eyes, "One of us has to be the distraction, and it has to be me." she shrugged "I'll be fine," she sighed and looked down at her feet. Clint rested his hand on her hair, smiling tightly. "You've got this." He took a seat on the bed next to her. She looked into his sky blue eyes, "He's dangerous Clint. He could kill us both and not break a sweat..." she let out a shaky breath. Fear crept into her emerald eyes, she didn't want to lose him. He was her best friend, her partner, her hero, and as much has she hated to admit it, she loved him.

"We've been up against dangerous guys before." He pointed out. Clint's heart skipped a beat when he saw something flash in Natasha's eyes. "I don't think we've ever faced anyone like this." she pulled out the file, "He was trained in Russia..." her voice broke over the name of her home country, "He has an endless arsenal of weapons and men. We have us, a bow, some arrows and a few guns."

"We're two of the best assassins in the world Tash," he protested. She looked at him, "We've been nearly beat before." Natasha felt her heart pound. She was terrified, she had a feeling one of them wasn't going to make it home.  
"What's got you so worked up Widow?" Clint was beginning to worry. "Nothing." she lied, "Just jet lagged or something..." so it wasn't her best lie, her head wasn't very clear and disguising her fear was getting difficult. Clint could always tell when she lied, and she desperately hoped he wouldn't catch her just this once. His eyes narrowed, "Tasha you know you can't lie to me. What's wrong?" He asked forcefully.

She looked at him and sighed, "I have a bad feeling about this mission." Fear was showing in her eyes, she didn't even try to hide it. Clint pulled her close. "Tasha you know I won't let anything happen to you. I've got your back." She wrapped her arms around him, "I know..." she whispered 'but can I protect you?' she thought, her biggest fear was losing him and it be her fault. Natasha wouldn't be able to live with herself if he died on her watch.

He kissed the top of her head, frowning. She pulled away and looked at him, wishing she could say everything on her mind. Clint cupped her cheek in his hand reassuringly. Her green eyes locked with his blue, both of them silent. Just being close to him was comforting, she had him for the moment and she would do anything to protect him.

"I love you," the words had tumbled out of his mouth before his brain could protest. His eyes dropped to his knees and he floundered for something to cover his mistake. It took her a moment to process what he had said, when the words registered she grabbed his face and kissed him. One hand on his cheek the other grabbed a fist full of his shirt, pulling him to her. Clint squeaked rather uncharacteristically, his eyes wide in fear until he realized that Natasha was kissing him. He suddenly didn't care why, he just knew he wanted her and badly.

Natasha pulled him closer to her, she thought she may never get another chance to do this. His fingers tangled in her hair and he pushed her back on the bed. She pulled him down on top of her, she gripped his bottom lip in her teeth, nibbling softly. Natasha realized how much she wanted him, and she didn't want this to be a one night thing where they never spoke of it again. She wanted more.

Clint's fingers gripped the zipper of her catsuit, tugging roughly. The zipper slid down her body, revealing the scarred flesh beneath. She quickly ripped off his shirt, admiring his defined muscles below her hands. Clint's breaths became longer, deeper. His eyes darkened with lust. She slowly pulled her arms out of the catsuit, revealing her chest. She pulled him into a mother kiss, her tongue traced along the seam of his lips, begging for entrance.

His lips parted and he moved a hand to massage her breast. She tangled her tongue with his, moaning at his touch. "I swear if Fury calls for something I might have to shoot someone," Clint joked. "He won't," she smiled and kissed him again.

He tugged at her suit, trying to pull it down over her hips. She giggled and wiggled her hips, pulling herself out of it. She runs a hand down his chest to his belt, ripping it off in one swift motion. Natasha's hands returned to his hips, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them off, revealing a very aroused Clint.  
Clint hissed at the rush of air against his cock. He pulled Natasha's mouth to his again and kissed her fiercely. She moaned against his lips, slipping the catsuit over her feet. She pressed herself closer to him, wrapping her legs around him. "Fuck," he moaned softly. She smirked and looked into his eyes, "I want you."

"I'm yours," he promised. Her heart swelled at those words, he loved her. And she couldn't say it back. Instead she pulled him into another kiss, her hands pulling at his boxers. He moaned, squirming out of the offending piece of clothing. She smiled, "Make love to me, Hawk."

Clint kissed her, slowly and passionately. It was different from the other times they had kissed, this one was backed with emotion instead of lust. She moved a hand to his cheek, returning the kiss with equal passion. He thrust into her gently, moaning at the friction.

Natasha's head fell back, this was different than any other time she had been with anyone. It felt so good. Clint's hands roamed her bare stomach, tracing scars that he couldn't reach with his lips as his thrusts gained a rhythm. She moaned, blushing as he touched her scars. He had told her they were beautiful once. She would probably never believe him. Her scars were just painful reminders. His calloused hands were a stark contrast to the smooth skin of Natasha's abdomen.

She took a hold of one of his hands, squeezing gently. She moaned as he thrust, her back arching toward him in ecstasy. He moaned her name, roaming his free hand to her breast. She pressed her lips to his, whimpering quietly, "Hawk..." she whispered as she moved her hips against his. He nibbled her lip, his thrusts becoming rougher.

She cried out in pleasure. "I-I'm close!" moaned. He thrust harder into her. "Come for me Tasha." At his words she screamed as she reached her peak. Natasha dug her nails into his biceps, leaving small red crescent marks. She was panting and trembling as he continued to thrust. Clint moaned loudly. Feeling Natasha tighten around him threw him into his climax. Natasha's head fell back as she moaned with pleasure. "Hawk!" she screamed and kissed him again.

Clint collapsed next to her. "Tasha," he whispered. Natasha's breath was ragged as she turned to look at Clint, she kissed him quickly. "Wow."

"I love you," he looked at her pleadingly, vulnerable. "I...I..." she tried to say it, but just then her phone went off, Coulson was on the other end, "Romanoff, Barton, target is on the move. You have to go now." Natasha sighed and stood up, sliding the cat suit on, she looked at him, "Barton... Promise me something?"  
He sighed, pulling his own uniform on. "What Tasha?" She sighed and looked down at her boots. "Promise me you'll make it back." He nodded curtly. "I promise." She knew she'd hurt him. She felt her heart break, she pushed the thought aside and got into mission mode. She fastened her belt and looked at him, pain in her eyes, "Ready?"

"Always am," he replied simply. She nodded and walked to the door, "Let's go kill this bastard." she sighed and walked out to the car that was waiting for them, they drove for several silent minutes until they reached a large warehouse. "I'll distract them. There's a ladder to the roof over there." she pointed.

"Got it," he moved quickly to the ladder, securing his bow as he climbed up. Natasha sighed and walked into the warehouse, she heard Clint in her ear, "You got my back hawk?"

"Of course I do Widow, nothing can change that." he said. She nodded, and walked into the warehouse. Cat calls were heard and men calling to her, "Hey there pretty lady! Why don't you come on over here?!" she smirked and kept walking. By the time she was in the center of the warehouse, all eyes were on her and a familiar voice was heard behind her. "Hello Natalia. Did you miss me?" Natasha's eyes went wide as she turned to face the source of the noise, "Ivan?!"

Clint could hear all this over the com. "Fuck," he murmured. "Nat do you know this guy?" He said. Natasha stayed silent, looking up at the man in front of her. "Natalia," he smiled wickedly, "You remember me!" he walked to her, running a hand over her cheek, "Don't. Touch. Me," she spat at him. Bare arms laughed devilishly and grabbed her hair. "Ah!" she gasped in pain and tried to pry his hand from her head. "Oh no no no Natalia, I miss the feeling of your curls in my hands."

Clint hissed over the com, jumping back on the ladder and sliding down to duck down by the door to the warehouse. "Tasha give me a signal and I'm in there." Natasha growled at him, "I'm not your play thing anymore." she kicked him square in the guy and flipped away from him. "HAWK NOW!" she yelled and drew her guns, shooting the first men to advance at her, she turned, nailing another with a kick. But then, Bare Arms got his arms around her and he wasn't letting go. Natasha watched as all the men advanced on Clint, she knew there were to many for just him. They had him restrained in minutes.

Clint kicked and squirmed, doing anything he could to possibly get out of the men's grips. "Natasha!" Bare Arms had a hand over Natasha's mouth, fear showed plainly in her eyes. "Is this your boyfriend Natalia?" The man whispered in her ear, Natasha squirmed trying to get to Clint as Bare Arms started to drag her off toward a room. He tied her down to the chair and turned on the light, when her eyes adjusted she saw Clint staring at her through a glass wall. He was tied down just as she was. But he only had one man in the room with him.

Clint continued to struggle against the restraints, growling and snapping at the man in the room with him. Natasha pulled against the restraints, her eyes on Clint. As she pulled harder a hand came down on her hair, yanking her head back. She felt the cold steel of a knife against her throat. She whimpered, fear clear in her eyes. "Why are you here Natalia?" Natasha growled at him, "You know I won't talk," Bare Arms laughed, "Oh I know," he moved his lips to her ear, "But maybe, he will." he pointed to Clint. Natasha struggled, "Don't touch him." she hissed.

"Natasha!" Clint yelped, his struggles nearly the flipping the chair he was tied to. Bare Arms released her hair and moved the blade to her cheek, "Would you rather me being doing this to him?" he drags the blade across her skin, a trail of blood forming. She gasped in pain, "Don't touch him. Kill me do anything you want, just don't hurt him!" her green eyes locked with Clint's, trying to comfort him.

Clint's blue eyes pleaded with hers, they had to get out of this, they had to get away. The restraints cut into his flesh, small beads of blood forming around the edges of the tight leather bands. Her eyes never parted from his, Bare Arms saw this and plunged the knife into her shoulder, Natasha screamed. She wasn't expecting the pain, the man laughed "Someone's gotten weak," he taunted and twisted the knife In her shoulder. She cried out again, tears welling in her eyes. "I. Won't. Talk." she gritted her teeth as he ripped the knife from her body. "Oh. I'm sure you will," he snarled and punched her in the jaw, hard.

Clint cried out, jumping against his restraints as the beads of blood began to run down his limbs. The restraints weren't loosening, and he continued to fight harder. Natasha's heart sped up as she turned to look up at the man who was torturing her, "Is that all you got?" she whispered, the mans eyes lit up, "You want worse? You always did like it rough Natalia." he chuckled darkly, and pulled his gun, pointing it at her head. Her eyes stayed on Clint, an apology in them. 'I love you too...' she thought, hoping he would know what she was thinking.

"Tasha! No!" He screamed, his throat already becoming raw. The man moved his aim and shot right next to her ear, all of Natasha's senses were disoriented. Bare Arms flipped the gun in his hand and hit her across the face with the butt of the handle. She cried out in pain as her head flew to the side. She snapped it back and looked at her tormentor. "Let him go. He hasn't done anything, he doesn't know anything." she looked at him, pleading, "Natalia, why would I let him go when I'm having so much fun?" He smiled at her, before slamming his lips against hers. Natasha jerked her head away, and stared at him, hatred in her eyes.

Clint's heart sped up and he began to hyperventilate. He had to get out of here. He had to help her. Natasha looked at Clint, she smiled weakly trying to comfort him. Bare Arms saw this and spoke, breaking the moment, "Oh Natalia, I never pictured you to be a love bird." she chuckled and slammed the blade into her side. Natasha screamed as her head fell forward. Clint managed to slip one hand out of his restraints because it was now slick with blood.

Natasha growled in pain, Bare Arms laughed and turned away from Natasha. She took advantage of this and broke the chair legs, ripping her hands free and making her ready to fight. She pulled the knife from her side and flipped it in her hands, "Ah... You know, it takes a lot more to kill me." she threw the knife, and it sank itself into the mans shoulder. "Ag. Natalia. That was not smart," he growled and turned, springing for her neck.  
Clint slammed his elbow back into his guards face and successfully knocking him out with the blow. He pulled at his restraints, pulling the rest of them off.

Bare Arms grabbed Natasha's throat, cutting off her air supply. She kicked, catching him right in the chin. The man dropped her as he stumbled, sending her to the floor.

Clint ran out of his room, forcing his way to her. "Tasha are you alright?" She grunted, "'M fine..." bare arms pulled a gun and was aiming at Clint, "LOOK OUT!" she pushed him down, barely dodging the bullet herself. The man trudged over to them, "Natalia, you're just dragging this out. You. Can't. Win." he kicked her right in the stomach "Agh!" she cried out

Clint spat at the large man, "you're going down asshole." He jumped at him, throwing all his weight into trying to knock him down. Bare Arms fell to the side under Clint's weight. Natasha jumped up, grabbed Clint and ran for the door. "Barton get out of here. Now!" she yelled as more men started approaching. "I'm not leaving you," he retorted. Bullets started flying past them, "Go!" she pushed him and turned fighting as hard as she could, she snapped ones neck, grabbing his gun. She turned and shot two others just as Bare Arms flew out of the room, he had two really big guns in his arms,  
Clint pulled a gun out of his holster, shooting at anything that didn't have fire red hair. Natasha was snapping necks left and right, she was to close for guns. She grabbed knives and anything she could use as a weapon. She looked over and saw Clint still standing there. "HAWK! GO!" she screamed as one of the men landed a swift kick to her chest, knocking her backwards. "Don't worry about me!" He growled. "I'm not leaving you so deal with it and keep your head in the mission."

She nodded and took out three more, there were only about ten more men left as well as their good friend Bare Arms. Natasha sprinted over to be near Clint, her adrenaline was pumping, making up for her injuries. "We got this Tasha," he said softly. She nodded as the bullets started flying, she pulled her gun and took out three more. Clint took out another two, Bare arms was holding back, waiting until there were only 4 men left before letting his bullets fly. The assassins dodged and ran, but Natasha wasn't so lucky, 3 bullets flew into her chest. She stayed quiet, fighting as hard as she could. She took out two more before she felt the adrenaline begin to leave her body.

Clint took out another couple of guys, grazing Bare Arms with a bullet. Natasha sprinted at her former comrade, the bear tattoo on his arm catching her eye. She jumped at him, knocking the guns from his arms. She felt her strength fading, she has one chance. She ducked suddenly, "BARTON! SHOOT HIM!" she screamed

Clint did as ordered and took his shot, hitting Bare Arms directly. Bare Arms fell, the life fading from his eyes, Natasha had run behind Clint with the last of her strength. She saw Clint walk toward the body as she braced her self on a table. Her breathing was ragged as she tried to stop the bleeding from her wounds. She tore her hand away to see it covered in crimson. "We did it Tasha," Clint said brightly. Natasha fell to the floor with a thud, "Clint..." she said as loud as she could, her voice barely above a whisper.

Clint's head whipped around at Natasha's use of his first name. "T-Tasha!" He ran to her, gathering her in his arms gently. She coughed loudly, blood on her lips. Her breathing was ragged as she placed a hand on his cheek, "C-Clint..." she whispered. "Stay with me Tash, we'll get help." He promised, pulling out his phone. She coughed loudly again, the life draining from her, "Clint... Look at me..." his blue eyes met hers, "I love you too..." she whispered before her eyes fluttered closed and her hand fell from his cheek  
Clint shook his head, gathering her up and running out of the building trying hard not to jostle her. "You gotta stay with me Tasha. You have to." He cried. Natasha could hear his words, but they sounded distant. She desperately wanted to call out to him, to tell him she was still there. Then everything went dark. He managed to get her to the nearest medical facility within seconds of her passing into unconsciousness.

Everything was dark. Natasha could feel a horrible shock rip through her body multiple times, and she was slightly aware of the hum of voices in the distance. She tried to search through them, she needed to hear her archers voice. Clint held her hand tightly, "I love you Tasha, I love you." He repeated over and over. She heard his voice and she desperately wished she could say it back. He sounded agonizingly far away, and he was just getting farther, "Clint?!" she tried to to call out before feeling the horrible shock run through her body.

He stayed by her side, holding her hand. She realized she couldn't hear him anymore and she started to panic, she felt disconnected from everything, like she was someone else watching the sad scene before her. A red headed woman in a hospital bed and an archer sitting beside her, it took her a moment to realize the woman was her.

"I need you to make it back to me," he whispered. "I love you Tasha. I wouldn't be able to do all this without you. Why didn't you just say something when you got shot? Damn it Widow." He dropped his head. "I can't lose you now. Not now that I know."  
It was agonizing for her to see him like this. She wanted to scream, all she saw was darkness, and his voice seemed to get farther everyday. 'Clint... I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry... I love you...' she wanted to scream at him. She wanted him to know she was there.

Clint came everyday, without fail. He would be in her room ten minutes before visiting hours started and he wouldn't leave until the nurses kicked him out. "You missed it today Tasha. Tony bejeweled Fury's coat. You would have loved it, Fury had Tony on the ground within seconds. Broke his nose." He sighed. "I love you Tash, please come back. Please wake up." He let one tear slip down his cheek unnoticed. "I need you Tash."

Natasha's eyes didn't open for three weeks, on day 22 her fingers twitched, small incidents like this happened, but her eyes never opened. Each day Clint brought with him a single red rose. He would place it in a vase at the end of her bed, and he would remove the oldest one. He would tell her how much he loved her, he would tell her what she missed that day, he would beg her to wake up. The routine never changed.  
"Tasha you're getting pale. So pale. I think your hair is getting redder though. It's beautiful." He stroked her hair gently. "My beautiful Natasha." His thumb brushed across her cheek. "The doctors are telling me I need to prepare for the possibility that you won't wake up. I told them that you won't stop fighting, you won't right? I mean- do you remember what you said to me, right before you collapsed? You told me you loved me. If you love me you'll keep fighting Tasha. Please. For me."

Natasha loved listening to his voice, some days it was close, others it sounded farther away. She worked everyday to get her eyes to open, but the harder she worked, the farther his voice got. On one occasion his voice was barely a whisper, and that horrible shock came back, but the next day he sounded like he was right next to her ear. Every time she heard him she wished she could speak, even if she could only say one thing, she just wanted him to know that she loved him.

"They say you can't hear me Tasha," Clint said. His day had been particularly hard and he needed more than anything to have her hand in his. "They're wrong right? Please find a way to prove them wrong." Clint grabbed her hand. "You know, it's funny Natasha. I've never been so sure of anything, not once, until I realized I loved you. It was like, as soon as my mind made the connection everything was brighter." he chuckled. "I also don't think I've ever said anything so cheesy. I just- I need you awake Tasha. I need you here with me." Clint stroked her ring finger.

Natasha heard him and tried to give him a sign, her brain was working hard trying to move that ring finger. While all this was going on Natasha was thinking, "I've loved you since that first night in Russia, you were my knight in shining armor and i just couldn't admit it until it was to late... I love you Clint..." at the last sentence her ring finger twitched, she desperately hoped he would notice.

Clint jumped slightly, a small smile falling on his lips. He rubbed her shoulder. "I knew you could hear me Tasha. Wake up for me baby. Please. Don't give up." He whispered. Natasha fought to open her eyes again, Clint's voice started to get farther away. She saw a light farther down in the darkness, she knew what it was and she tried to run from it, she didn't want to die. Not now. Not now that she knew he loved her.

"Natasha, I- I need to ask you something." Clint said. "I know you can't answer, but I need you to hear it now." He stroked her hair. "I love you Natasha Romanov, I have since I met you. I got that mission file and the last thing I expected was for you to be the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. You talk about red in your ledger, about things you need to make up for, about how imperfect you are. That's what makes you perfect Tash! You're perfect because you have flaws." He could feel tears building up in his eyes. "Everything about you is beautiful. I love the face you make when you tease me, I love the way you thumb at your lip when you're reading a mission file." He smiled. "I love the way your eyes light up when laugh. God your laugh, what I wouldn't give to hear you laughing right now." He breathed. "It's like bells." Clint stood and dug his hand in his pocket. "Natasha I love you more than I thought possible. I would trade places with you in less than a second if it meant you would be awake and well again. I want you to be by my side. Marry me Natasha? Be my wife. Now you have to wake up Natasha. You have to. Just so you can give me an answer. You hate it when people leave questions hanging." He pulled a ring box out of his pocket and pulled it open. "Don't leave my question without an answer." Clint placed the open box on the table at the end of her bed, next to the rose vase. In a spot she would see it as soon as she woke.

Natasha heard his question, it sounded far away but she heard it. Her heart was pounding it was the only sound she heard for a few moments, then she heard the legs of his chair slide back as he moved to the window. Natasha thought for a moment, "C'mon Romanov, you can break out of this..." she ran blindly through the dark as she was trying to regain control of everything, she was able to feel her fingers twitch. She kept pushing harder, soon she could feel her toes curl, she was almost there, she knew it. Natasha's eyelids fluttered open for a few seconds, she saw her archer by the window, facing away from her. They closed again, Tasha had felt like she had hit a wall in head, she pushed harder than she ever thought she could. She forced her eyes open, her emerald irises took in the room around her, she saw her archer standing quietly by the window, the chair at her side where Clint had been sitting, the red roses at the foot of her bed, and... the ring. She processed what he had said again, he had asked her to marry him. He loved her enough to want to marry her, she forced her pale lips to open as she whispered. Her voice was hoarse and raspy from the dryness in her throat, "Yes."

Clint spun on his heel, his eyes lighting up when he saw the bright green of his partners eyes. "Natasha!" he whispered. His eyes overfilled with tears and his face split into an almost painful grin. Clint's knees began to wobble and he had to grab onto the window sill. "My beautiful Tasha," he rushed to her side taking her hand. "I knew you'd give me an answer." He kissed her gently, with a fierce passion that was only barely contained.

She smiled as her own tears spilled over, "I love you," she said hoarsely as her pale fingers laced with his. Natasha smiled against her fiance's lips... 'Fiance...' the thought brought tears to her eyes. "I love you too. More than anything," he choked out. "Oh god Tasha, I thought I was gonna lose you." Clint held her close, squeezing her hand. She was crying now, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Just- don't scare me like that again." He whispered. Clint wiped the tears from her face before reaching over and grabbing the ring. "I promise I wont," she murmured and looked at the ring, "I-Its beautiful."

"I knew you would like it." He grinned. She smiled weakly, "I should have told you..." she turned her head from him as more tears fell. "Hey, hey don't cry." He wiped her cheek. "What do you mean?"

"When I got shot." she mumbled, "I wanted to protect you and I was trying to be in to many places at once," she winced as she tried to sit up "I-I-I'm s-sorry."

"Hey it's okay. You were focused on the mission I know that." He kissed her forehead. "Want me to get the nurses in here with some pain meds?" She shook her head no, "I-I wasnt focused on the mission." she admitted quietly "I-I-I w-was focused o-on-" she started shaking wildly.

"Natasha," Clint panicked. "Are you okay?" Natasha shook her head no and started sobbing against his chest. She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to anchor herself to. He held her tightly, rubbing her shoulders. "What's wrong?" She was shaking and gasping, "I-I-I'm s-s-s-so s-sorry." She choked out before another waves of sobs started, she felt like it was all her fault. She had caused him so much pain and she hated herself for it.

"It's not your fault Tasha!" He protested. She stayed crying in his arms for several more minutes before her sobs began to quiet down, she looked up at her archer, his beautiful blue eyes locking with hers. "I-I love you." she stuttered as the shaking slowly stopped. "I love you too," he stroked her hair.

"How long have I been... Out?" Her voice was hesitant. He rubbed the back of his neck, "well a little over three weeks." Clint rubbed circles on her hand. Her eyes went wide, "Three weeks?!"

He nodded slowly. "yeah, three weeks." She brought her knees to her chest and winced at the movement. This is how she say when she was thinking, Clint knew this and the look her gave her made her hide her face. "What have you got going on in that head of yours Tasha?" He brushed her hair back.

"Nothing." she said quickly, "Nothing. I'm fine." she smiled in an attempt to cover her lie, "So what did I miss?" Clint let the lie slide, knowing he wouldn't be able to make her talk if she didn't want to. "Same old stuff. Tony pulling pranks, Fury punishing him, that kind of stuff."

Natasha looked down at her feet, "How is everyone?" she tried to keep her tone light. "Worried, but fine other than that." He said honestly. Natasha's eyes started to feel heavy, her vision blurred but she kept talking "W-Why were they worried?"

"They're worried about you." He said hesitantly. "W-Why would th-" her voice trailed off as she slumped against him, her body began trembling wildly as her heart pounded against her rib cage. "Tasha!" Clint panicked, hitting the nurse call button forcefully. "Tasha Please, don't do this!" She slipped out of his arms and fell back against her mattress. The heart rate monitor began its defining beeping as her body continued to quake. "We need a doctor in here," he yelped. "Please Tasha, please don't do this!" Her body stopped its shaking and she laid completely frozen.

The doctor's came in, kicking him out of the room while they looked her over. The doctors sent a shock through her body, the beeping went on. They tried two more times and nothing happened. One of the doctors looked to Clint sympathetically through the window. "No! No no no!" He screamed. The doctors stepped away from her body and looked to Clint as they exited the room. The last doctor looked to him, "I'm sorry, you can go see her." the beeping droned on from her room. Clint's movements were mechanical. He dropped into the chair by her bedside. Natasha's red curls splayed around her face, a light blush still lingered on her cheeks.

He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Please, don't do this to me Tasha." She laid completely still, her hands were becoming cold fast, the ring lay glittering on her finger. "Tasha," he whispered pitifully. Clint's eyes filled with tears and anyone in the hospital would say that they could hear the man's heart break. Natasha lay still, unresponsive to her new fiancee's words. Her lips lay slightly ajar from her last breath and her skin slowly grew paler. Tears began to fall from Clint's eyes mercilessly. He tried to hold back the warm droplets but his body betrayed him. "You wouldn't want me to be crying Tasha," he gasped. "I'm so sorry I can't be strong for you."

Her red curls splayed about her face, small bruises appeared on her chest from the intense CPR. Natasha looked down on Clint and her body, her own transparent tears slid down her cheeks. She slipped her ghostly hand into his, begging him to know she's there. Clint shuddered, a light breeze flowing into the room. His upper body collapsed onto the bed, his face resting on her stomach. "I love you Tasha. I love you," he sobbed.

Natasha watched as her archer cried over her body. She ran her fingers through his hair, she knew he couldn't feel it but it made her feel better. "I love you too," she sobbed quietly to herself. Clint sobbed over her body for what felt like weeks, but in reality was probably only half an hour before the doctors had to pry him away. Natasha followed him, wincing as he fought the doctors to stay by her. She ran up and placed a transparent hand on his cheek, trying to call him, "Clint... Sweety I'm here! I'm not gone!" she yelled to the air.

Clint's eyes ran dry and he sat in an eery silence while he waited for Fury to come collect him from the hospital. He could almost feel her there next to him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind and filed it under wishful thinking. Every passing doctor gave him a look of pity as he sat in the waiting room letting his grief slowly crush him. He felt as though his heart torn to shreds and all that was left was an empty space that only Natasha could fill.

She sat next to him, wishing he could hear her. Natasha looked at him with sad dead eyes begging him to hear her, "CLINT!" she screamed "You have to hear me! Please! Please hear me! I love you! It was always you. I've loved since the beginning!" she started sobbing again and wrapped her invisible arms around him as comfort.

Clint was hit with an odd sensation. It was cold and warm at the same time, like hugging someone after one of you has been standing in the snow. He found it strangely comforting, though not enough to stem the pain flowing through him. She placed a hand on his cheek, a transparent ring still on her finger. She kissed him hesitantly, wondering what would happen. As she pulled away she saw fury walk toward them. His expression was sad, a frown etched into his strong features.

Fury said nothing as he approached the silent archer. Clint stood and followed him out of the hospital still hoping with all his heart that this was all just a bad dream. Natasha followed close behind him, tears slipping down her face as she tried to lace her ghostly fingers with his. She looked at fury, his eye was slightly red. He had been crying, Natasha couldn't believe it. Her own tears flowed even stronger.

Fury stopped in the parking lot, putting a hand on Clint's shoulder. "This was a terrible turn of events Barton, but promise me you won't do anything reckless. SHIELD needs you." Clint slapped his hand away. "SHIELD needed her too." Natasha stood beside him silently, contradicting him. "They only needed me because of you." she whispered to herself.

He stormed off, away from the shocked director. "They needed you Tasha. I needed you." He whispered to himself, tears welling up in his eyes again. Natasha followed behind him, her own tears falling. "Clint. I'm so sorry." Slowly, the thoughts in Clint's head began to clear. The fog of his grief subsiding, though the grief itself intensified. He was planning. Something reckless. Natasha saw the look on his face as he started to think, "Whats going on in that head of yours, Hawk?"

Clint turned his head up to the sky, "Wait for me Natasha."

"Always," she laid her hand on his cheek, wondering what he was going to do.

"Director Fury, I would like to request a few weeks leave." He said softly. Natasha knew he was planning something, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She looked to fury, trying to unravel everything that was going on. "I want you back on the first of the month Barton." Fury said. Clint nodded and headed off to his car. Natasha followed behind Clint, her had that look in his eye, the one where he was about to do something stupid. She crawled into the passenger seat and looked at him sadly.  
Clint made his way to his apartment, grabbing a bag and packing all the things he would normally take on a mission. "They'll pay for this Tasha." Her eyes went wide, "What are you doing?" she screamed begging for him to hear her. She knew he was doing something reckless. He went to his computer, booking a flight to Russia under an alias. Natasha looked at the flight info, "No. No no no no no!" she screamed at him begging him not to go.

Clint grabbed his bag and headed for the airport. He had a little trouble in security with the number of weapons in his bag but he had an FBI alias which got him through. Natasha followed behind him the whole time. Begging and pleading for him not to go. She knew he couldn't hear her but she still tried. Clint settled into his seat, already making plans in his mind. A deep sense of foreboding settled into his stomach but he refused to back out. "For Tasha." He whispered.

She pulled back a ghostly hand and slapped him as hard as she could, she begged that he would feel something. "Clint." she pleaded, "Please don't do this. I'm not worth it!" Clint heard the words as a whisper in his mind. "Of course you're worth it." Natasha's eyes grew wide, "You can hear me?! Don't do this! Please! You probably think this is all in your head. Go out and live Clint. Find a girl settle down, forget about me. Go home!" tears started flowing again as the plane took off.

"You were my girl." He said sadly. She whimpered, "Go home. If you really loved me you would go home!" The reply was lost on him. "Stop imagining things Barton." He growled. She looked down at the ghostly ring that still glinted on her finger. "Clint," she pleaded as her hand went to his cheek, he was looking right at her, but he still couldn't see. As Clint's thoughts turned to other things the voice in his head faded. He chalked it up to his imagination playing tricks on him. He stared out the window of the plane for hours thinking about which of the weapons he had brought would be most useful.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, listening to his steady breathing and his heart beat. She wrapped her hand around his and hummed quietly to herself, it was a song Clint had sang to her once "_Love of mine, Someday you will die. But I'll be close behind... I'll follow you into the dark..." _she sighed and nuzzled close, just like she always did on long plane rides. Clint's thoughts began to fade and he fell asleep.

She brushed her hands through his hair as he slept, remembering all the times he fell asleep with his head in her lap. All the times he had sung her to sleep, the late night meetings, the stolen kisses, the way he held her when she cried... One specific memory popped into her mind. It was one of the hardest missions they had been on, a drug cartel in northern Mexico was getting out of hand. Natasha and Clint were sent in to end it. Everything went well, except for Natasha was forced to kill a civilian. Once back in their hotel room Natasha broke into tears, something she rarely ever did. Clint heard her and scooped her up into his lap, his strong hand ran through her hair brushing it away from her face. He say there with her for hours, comforting her, caring for her, just being there for her. When her sobs quieted his started to quietly sing to her, "_...No blinding light, no tunnel to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight. Waiting for the hint of a spark... If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs, if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks... Then I'll follow you into the dark..."_

Clint smiled sleepily as the lyrics swam through his thoughts. His eyes were glued shut by the promise of slumber, the promise of a relief from his pain. Natasha was glad when she saw a smile on his face, maybe he would move on after all. She just wanted him happy. Sleep finally rolled over him and his dreams flooded with memories of Natasha. All the things he loved most about her. Natasha leaned against him, hoping he was dreaming of happy things. Maybe he was even dreaming of her.

"Natasha.." he mumbled through his sleepy haze. Natasha smiled at the sound of her name, she kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I'm right here. I'll never leave."

"I'm so sorry Tash." He whispered. Her hand caressed his cheek, "Clint you have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who got shot." Her voice buzzed through his head, part of a dream surely. "I should have saved you," he mumbled. "You didn't know. It's my fault." tears slipped down her cheeks. He started to thrash in his sleep, his dream becoming a fearful memory of that night.

Natasha tried to comfort him, "Clint?! Sweety I'm here it's okay. It's just a nightmare! Wake up! WAKE UP!" her voice grew panicked as he continued to thrash. Clint jerked awake, the voice once again fading from his thoughts as his eyelids flew open. Natasha sighed in relief as he awakened, the plane started its decent and Clint got a determined look in his eye. "Please dont get hurt." she begged.

Clint looked out the window into the vast expanse of clouds. "I'm coming for you Tasha."

"No. Clint! Forget about me! I'm a spy, we both knew I would die sooner or later. Clint don't do whatever you plan on doing." Tears fell from her lifeless eyes as she pleaded with him.

The plane landed and soon Clint was off to a small motel that he knew from a previous mission. He grabbed a paper pad and a pen and and began planning. Natasha followed close behind, staying near him at all times. His plans flowed onto the page and he soon he took to his bed so that he might be well rested for his personal mission the next day. Natasha looked at the page and gasped in horror, "CLINT! Do you realize that this is a suicide mission?!" she climbed into the bed next to him, "LISTEN TO ME!" she screamed. Clint heard the words faintly in his head as sleep came closer. "I know Tasha, I know."

"You cant do this to me. Please don't." she begged as she cuddled up close to him. "I love you Tasha," he whispered through his dreaming. "I love you too..." she gently kissed him, wishing he could feel it. The deeper into sleep he fell the more vivid his dream became, the clearer her words became. "Clint," she whispered sadly as she curled closer, lacing their fingers together. "This could have been us, in our own house." she whimpered. "That's why I have to do this Tasha," his sleep fogged the words.

"No you don't. You can go and live on for the both of us. You don't have to go and get yourself killed." Her voice was hoarse and broke over several words. "I can't do it without you," he said as he slowly began to wake. "You did it without me for years, Hawk." Natasha's reply fell upon deaf ears as consciousness spread through him. Her eyes filled with tears as her archer opened his eyes. "Please don't do this."

Clint rolled out of bed, dressing in his SHIELD uniform and grabbing an arsenal of small arms. "Guess my bow won't do much good this time around." He looked at it sadly, placing it on the bed with a note addressed to Fury. The alias he had used was one from a previous mission so he knew Fury would be close behind. His blue eyes scanned the room with a sadness that he carried deep in his soul. "I won't keep you waiting Tasha." He whispered into the empty air.

As he finished speaking she ran and kissed him, she could have sworn it was almost like he was kissing her back. "Stay alive. Please." her voice broke over the last word. She followed him out, it almost felt like they were on any old mission, except one was gone and the other was about to join her. Clint rushed to the KGB warehouse with a steely determination that had set in his bones. By the time he had stepped in the perimeter the guards had already been aware of him for five minutes. He took out the first two guards at the doors without hesitation.

Natasha followed along, cringing in fear as they neared the warehouse. She watched the guards begin to attack and she felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Clint began to yell things as he dove into the thick of battle. "You killed her!" He growled. "She's dead because of you bastards!" The guards began to overpower him, his body was gushing blood from countless wounds. His black uniform had a thin film of deep vicious red dried atop the leather. "Tasha!" He screamed his throat raw as a burly arm wrapped around his throat.

Natasha screamed as she watched him, "CLINT!" she ran to him, trying to pry the arm off of him. "Let him go!" she begged, she looked at Clint and saw something in his eyes light up. "I'm coming Tasha, I'm coming." He gasped as the arm tightened around his throat. His body began to give out and the life faded slowly from his eyes. "I can see you Tasha," he whispered happily as tears filled his eyes. Her form was cloudy and unclear but to him it was obvious as the nose on his face that it was his Tasha.

"NO!" she screamed and kicked at the man holding Clint. Her blows did nothing, she moved her hands to Clint's face, "Clint! No don't do this to me! You have to live!" she pleaded, the blue in his eyes became fogged as his life slipped away, "CLINT NO!" she screamed as the man holding him laughed.

A smile fell across his face as Natasha's form began to sharpen. "It's okay Tasha," he whispered. "This is what I want. This is how things should be. You and me." His eyelids fluttered close. "How things should be," he repeated. As his eyes closed the man dropped him to the ground, Natasha dropped to her knees next to his body sobbing into his chest. "Please wake up. PLEASE!" she sobbed harder and wrapped up next to his cold figure. "Please." she murmured.

Clint saw his fiancee clearer than ever. "I'm right here Tasha," he murmured from behind her. Natasha's head whipped around, "Clint?!" she was happy to see him but horrified that she was the cause of his death, she stood and walked closer to him, "Why?"

"Because I needed you," he said sadly. Clint wrapped his arms around her and looked down at his own ragged body. "Besides, I always told you I'd follow you wherever you went." She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed against his chest, "I'm sorry." she choked out. "Shh," he stroked her hair. "This is how things should be." He promised her. "Neither of us should be dead." she looked at the transparent ring on her finger

"But we were always meant to be together." He said sadly. Clint grabbed her hand and kissed the ring. She smiled weakly, "And now we are. Forever." She stood on her tip toes and kissed him. Clint began to hum softly, a song that was now very familiar to both of them. Natasha smiled and sang softly, "_Ill be close behind... Ill follow you, into the dark..._"


End file.
